- How did you feel when coming to me/a coach and/or what made you decide it was time?
My wife introduced me to you and made the arrangements for a meeting. I didn't think I needed a life coach to be honest. But, the more I speak to Marion...I get motivated and feel better about myself. I always beat myself up emotionally. Marion teaches me to put the bad aside and focus on the good (both in terms of physical and mental health).
I decided that I had to make a change. Everything I was doing to try to help myself was not working. I could not do it alone as I am sure everyone else eventually realizes. Marion has lived the life and has experienced the same issues I am having which makes the connection real and strong and her advice believable.
- After talking to me, how did you decide it was right for you? What was the primary reason you made the decision to say yes?
Again, I had to make a change. Marion is not a stiff, rigid doctor-type. She is a fun, easy-going REAL person. Her issues are my issues. Her schedule to meet with me was very accomodating and that really made me feel good and worked for me considering my busy days.
- How do you feel different now/already?
I have lost quite a bit of weight over the span of just under 2 months I have been speaking with Marion. My outlook on life is better, I eat better than I have in a long time and I exercise regularly. I am more aware of my surroundings instead of living life in a fog. My relationship with my wife has improved and my future goals are more real and apparent then they ever have been.
- What changes do you see that you'd love to share.
The fact that I have lost weight and see that my clothes are looser makes me feel great! It is nice too to hear someone who is confident and proud of my progress and gives me the motivation to keep going on my journey towards success. That voice was missing for a long time.
- From your experience, how do you suggest others decide if they are ready to talk to a coach?
Think about what you have been doing in the past and what you are doing now to change your life for the better. Is it working? You can't do it on your own....it is difficult. Even working with Marion for a couple of months has changed my life for the better in so many ways. Motivation and perseverance go a long way to reaching your goals. Marion can give you those tools to make a U-turn in life and start on a path of success.
- Is it what you expected, more than or less than?
It is more than I expected. Results were apparent within days and short terms goals were being attained in weeks. Small steps and achieving short term goals will help with the ultimate goals that were tough to achieve on my own.
- What can I do to make it an even better experience for you, if anything?
Nothing! Your periodic, inspirational emails are so helpful!
- Is there anything you'd prefer I didn't do?
What is holding you back? What is holding you back from being the person you want to be? Why haven’t you started exercising or eating right yet?
I asked myself similar questions. Why am I slacking off every now and then since my dad passed? It’s been three months; it’s time to come back to the healthy me!
Since I’m doing this right now, I’d love for you to join in with me so I want you to really think about why you are not or have not been able to stick to the healthy eating plan/diet right now or what excuses you are coming up with to be stagnant. Maybe you don’t even have an actual excuse. Maybe you just don’t feel like it.
Are you blaming someone else?Is it about your husband, wife, the kids, the neighbors, or is it about you? It’s always about looking within our self. You are the key to your success. You have to take 100% responsibility for what you are choosing to do or what you are not choosing to do. Remember whether you choose or you don’t choose you are still making a choice. That was a hard concept for me to grasp; even not making a choice is making a choice.
What do you think about when you think of working out? Do you think of being in pain, time constraints, kids, obstacles, problems, etc? How about just humoring me and trying this – today when you think about working out or eating healthy, take a few minutes to picture in your mind how you will feel when you reach your goal, how will you look, what will it feel like, what will you be wearing. Do you have a picture of you at a weight you are comfortable with? If you do, get it out. I got mine out last week.
What are others saying to you when you are at your goal?
What are you saying to yourself? Visualize.
The more you can create the picture in your mind and on paper the more likely it is to become a reality.
Visualization is Key!I learned over various journeys in my lifetime, including this one, visualization is a key component to making it happen. I visualize and use vision boards to plan my life goals. If you haven’t created a vision board I would strongly suggest you do. A vision board is a collage of all of your dreams, tangible and intangible.
How you want to look
The attitude you want to have
The body you desire
Positive Words and Quotes
Things you want to accomplish
Places you want to visit
How you want your relationship to be
All the changes you want in your world come to life on a vision board.
Over the years I’ve created many vision boards, vision books and other visioning items. I’ve offered and still offer many workshops on vision boarding because I believe it is such a great tool to plan out our life map, our journey per say. It’s how I plan my journey.
An Astonishing ExampleWhen I met my husband I explained to him how much vision boards changed my life and asked him if he wanted to create one with me that upcoming January 1st. Even though I create vision boards throughout the year I figured what better date than the number one day people make resolutions. So we made a wonderful board, filled with wedding pictures, a big cake, words about success, etc. Here’s what happened that year. Are you ready for this? The wedding pictures were couples getting married on a beach and the brides were in dresses not my style. We never had any plans on getting married on a beach and I wouldn’t wear that style dress. We loved the scenery of the couples getting married on the islands because we wanted to go to an island for our honeymoon. So with that in mind, we cut out four beautiful pictures and put them on each corner. They were just to represent getting married and going to an island for our honeymoon. There was also a big pink cake on the board, and as I said wonderful sayings of abundance, love and prosperity and also a work-related statement as my husband was hoping to get a new job.
We got married on an island.
I was in almost the same dress all four brides were wearing.
My husband got a new job.
Oh and here’s the key – Be specific – I wanted a pink wedding cake and, instead, because it was the biggest thing on the board, we ended up selling cakes and cookies that year as an added business venture. BE SPECIFIC. Remember, I also ended up wearing the gown.
I am sharing this with you because it’s time for me to make a new vision board in reference to how I want to look and feel. I just finished my career board. It was my final project to becoming a Certified Vision Coach but now it’s time to do my own board; my life board. At the beginning of the year I created a board for my husband and myself together as a couple, now I’m going to create an individual one to portray my specific goals.
While sharing this journey with you, some of you might know from my writing, I am not always sticking to my routine of healthy eating and exercise since my dad passed and I need to get clear again. This is new to me, not sticking to a routine and being consistent so I have to do what really works for me. I found over the past 25 years, this is the best way for me to get clear. Guess what I’ll be doing this week. Creating the ‘me’ I want to be!
Have a great week. If you are interested in more information about creating vision boards contact me.
This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.
What's Holding You Back From The Life You Want?
As a coach, I come across numerous clients with different areas of life needing clarification or improvement. No client is exactly alike yet everyone has similar issues or thoughts to work on or work through. They all have a common thread.
The number one reason a client comes to me is Fear. Whether they are at the top and want to go higher or need to work through a problem, the common thread is False Evidence Appearing Real.
Different Types Of Fear
Each client has a different type of fear. I believe we all, if not most experience or have experienced some kind of fear, at one time or another. The top five fears I encounter in my practice:
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of what others might think/judging
Fear of rejection
Almost everyone I coach has at least one to all five of these fears. I too had these and more and still have to confront some of them from time to time. I'm human; we're all human and it's part of life. The key is to put a dead halt to them so we can get everything out of life we deserve. Another key is also to find clarity to work through the fear that is blocking us from receiving all we want and desire.
My Greatest Fear is ...When working with clients whether by phone, video chat or face to face, I have them do a very short but effective exercise. I have them close their eyes and breath and then I ask a series of questions. This is to make them more aware of what they are feeling and/or what is holding them back. First we work on an area of life they need to improve upon then we get down to the underlying issues.
For example: One of the things I ask as they close their eyes and take deep breaths is to think of something they are afraid of for a quick second. I ask them to recite to them self “My greatest fear is ..." and fill in the blank. Then I have them think of why this is their greatest fear; “My greatest fear is people will judge me and I feel that way because I judge myself." That's when we get to the root of the problem and then we are able to work on it. We do this exercise with many or all their fears until they either see why the fear is holding them back or feel better about it.
It's amazing how a simple exercise can go such a long way. Once they get to the root cause or the root feeling, it's much easier to deal with. I'm not saying it's a walk in the park, per say, I'm just saying it makes it easier because they are able to see why they are feeling this way; and sometimes they had no idea.
The person has to be ready to dissolve the blocks. Some people have blocks to gaining prosperity, relationships, food issues, addictions and so many more. We are all different and learned certain behaviors and teachings, not necessarily all healthy. That doesn't mean our parents, guardians or elders didn't do the best they could with what they knew, it just means they taught us what they learned and that's okay.
Movies, magazines, TV can also instill fears in us. I say it's okay because we have the ability and skills to work through it and get over it. We are capable of great change in our lives. The past does not equal the future.
Dysfunctional Family or Perfect Childhood?I was chatting with a local store owner today; we were discussing dysfunctional families. A customer was saying she had a perfect childhood. Can this be true? Maybe it can. Are some families way less dysfunctional than others? Yes, of course. What I'm trying to say is, if you think you are the only one who grew up in a dysfunctional home, please get that thought out of your mind. If you think you had a perfect childhood, please get that thought out of your mind.
I had two clients who thought they had a perfect childhood and had a light bulb moment when they finally discovered and admitted they didn't. Both of their lives changed dramatically. They figured out why they feared certain things in life. Hooray. They also were afraid they would be judged if anyone knew the truth so they started believing what they were saying.
The first person, a 40 year old female, realized because she was called names as a child; she felt stupid and not good enough. She always had the fear of failure and fear of success because she would tell herself over and over again what a dummy she was. After this exercise she realized it's what her dad said over and over again during her childhood; he thought it was cute that her nickname was dummy.
We came up with positive affirmations for her to recite on a daily basis. She also attended a vision board workshop and created a vision board with pictures of anything that represented a very intelligent woman in her eyes. It took some time working together but she is now aware she is the wonderful, vibrant, intelligent human being she always was on the inside. Hooray for her.
I watched her self-esteem soar to new levels before my eyes. It was just as fulfilling for me as it was for her.
The second person, a 28 year old male, thought he couldn't do anything except work in a very low paying job even though he was very intelligent. We figured out it was because his mom told him he'd never amount to anything and he was good for nothing.
After working together on that thought process and changing the negatives to positives, he took some on-line courses and after he completed them was making almost double the money in a very short period of time. Bravo to him for acknowledging he didn't have a perfect childhood. He was insistent at the start but once he let go - miracles happened.
Don't Allow Fear To Run/Ruin Your LifeFear – Don't allow it to run your life. You are in control. Be sure whenever you are feeling fear to take a fear check.
Is it a legitimate fear?
Is is False Evidence Appearing Real?
Start taking notice and let me know what comes up for you. I always love when you share your stories. With your permission, I may even publish them someday on a site or in a book.
It’s been said in many different ways, whatever you focus on expands. What I say is “Whatever you focus on is what you get, negative or positive, so focus on the positive and you’ll bring more positive into your life”. I’m not saying I am always in a positive state or that just thinking positive will get you where you want to be. Negative thoughts creep up on me too only now I don’t allow them to last as long. When I’m focused, look out world. I believe with FOCUS we can achieve almost anything.Everything that is in the Universe began with a thought. All of the great masters have known this and teach this daily. If you are using a pad to take notes right now, someone had to think about making a pad before it became a reality. Someone had to then think about how to make the paper. Someone had to think about a writing utensil. Everything is a thought in our mind before it becomes a reality in the Universe. Nothing simply appears out of thin air. Right? How many times have you had a great idea and someone else stole it from you? Or at least that’s what you said. “Hey, that was my idea” but you didn’t tell anyone so you knew no one really stole it from you. If you‘d brought your thought to the right person perhaps you’d be rich.
Think about how wonderful inventions are. Have you ever seen the scraper for the restaurant tables for your crumbs, post-it pads, erasers, cameras, or toothpicks? Before that table scraper came out, didn’t you use your knife to clean off your table? I did and someone else did too. But guess what they took action on their thoughts.
Perhaps you have self-defeating thoughts about yourself. The more you think these thoughts, the more they become who and what you think you really are. I have good news for you. You could change those thoughts in an instant. Literally! Right now! Are you ready?
Take a minute or two and think of some negative thoughts that you bring to mind on regular basis, don’t stay with them too long. We do need to figure out what we say in order to put it in the positive though. Now that you are aware of what you say to yourself, how can we change it to the positive? That’s the easy part, JUST CHANGE IT! Sounds too simple doesn’t it? Here’s what works for me.
Begin catching yourself when you are having a self-defeating thought. As soon as you feel, hear or think one of these thoughts in your mind say the word “Cancel” or “Cancel that thought”. You could even use the word “Delete”. Say anything that is going to make your mind know that you are getting rid of that thought immediately. After you cancel your self-defeating thoughts replace them with self-fulfilling thoughts. In other words, replace the negative with the positive. It’s an age old concept but it works almost every time for me!!!!Here’s an example of affirmations for changing your self-defeating thoughts into self- fulfilling ones:
If you drop a dish and break it you might say in your mind or out loud, “ I’m so clumsy, I do things like this all the time”. Replace that with “I’m becoming more and more graceful each & every day” or “I am so agile”. Make these statements even if you feel like they are not true. You become what you believe you are, what you think about and feel about the most. I learned from the Masters to “Act as if”. If you’re not already who or where you want to be “act as if” you are already that person, in that place, being who you really are meant to be.
Everything that you have right now or anything that you are lacking in your life is a manifestation of your past and present thoughts, of what you’ve focused on. Your thoughts and focus control your destiny. You are responsible.
If in the past and present you’ve been thinking:
- I’m not good enough.
- I’ll never have enough money.
- I’m never going to amount to anything.
Guess what – right now I could pretty much guarantee that you’re struggling, you’re NOT good enough, you don’t have money, and you think you’ll never amount to anything. UNTIL NOW!!!!
You took the first step by reading this article. Now, and I mean RIGHT NOW you could begin to change that thought process. You are now on your way to a more conscious you. Give yourself a pat on the back. Negative thoughts that you’ve learned in the past, could now be reversed. I love this quote from Yoda “You must unlearn what you have learned”. You can’t change what happened in the past but you could begin changing your life right NOW!! Everything that you think about and focus on from THIS moment on can ultimately turn your life around in a positive way, as long as your thoughts are positive and you keep your Focus. Your thoughts must be self-fulfilling thoughts. You and your thoughts can change your entire life around starting RIGHT NOW!!
FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS. Am I making that clear? Do you understand that if you’re ready so is the Universe? If you are ready and you align your Focus with good and what you want, not what you don’t want you could change your life. I want to be sure you understand because this is powerful!